Ugh. Lessons to Myself.

So the first step is admitting your problem. 

My problem is that I’ve fallen off the fitness and healthy eating wagon, which is probably why I feel so gross right now. Let me elaborate. Tonight I had every intention of doing some work. Not only has my own day-job been busy, but I’m also helping out with some statistical something-or-other on the side, which means that I’m constantly in front of the computer coding in my favourite statistical program, SAS. I had planned for a long SAS-sy evening, so I came home after work, ate, took an hour to nap on my couch, and then decided to head back to work. En route, I stopped at Starbucks where I ordered a grande skinny mocha and a massive apple fritter. This seemed like a great plan at the time. As I drove, I devoured the apple fritter. The mocha was quite tasty too. Now fast forward 30 minutes where I’m sitting at my desk, at work, on a Thursday evening. I felt completely disgusting. Caffeine was flowing through my body (and still is as I write this!), and I had a sugar high that left me totally unfocussed. There was also much bloating going on. Eventually, I had an ‘eff-this’ moment, packed up, and drove home after accomplishing absolutely nothing. 

I’m suddenly having flashbacks to my MSc days. I recall working long hours to complete assignments and work on my master’s capstone project. I remember smelling the donuts from Tim Hortons as I ascended the stairs to my office, and always taking a detour to get a chicken salad sandwich, honey cruller and a medium double double. I remember, at that time, never having ran a race, or worked out in many years. I remember these habits transitioning to my days at i3 until half-way through I said “enough” and vowed to kick that sedentary lifestyle to the curb.

To be fair, it hasn’t been all that bad as of late. I mean, I haven’t completed any solid exercise sessions (whether P90Xing, yoga-ing, or running) in about a week, and I know that’s not a long time. And I know I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to these things. But in the midst of my busy work schedule, the lack of vegetables in my diet this week, and an odd migraine-type headache that has left me feeling tired, irritable and generally whiny, I realize some things about myself.

1) Work Balance. Sure, many of us talk about a work-life balance. For me, I think the ‘work’ portion is best kept to the standard work week. I have never been good with managing my time around academia, so academic work outside of my regular work hours makes it difficult for me to maintain the other important aspects of my life- regular fitness activities, down-time, and some semblance of a regular sleep pattern (though I never get enough sleep :D). Rather than working in the evenings, even writing a blog posting is cathartic in many ways, so I need to ensure that there’s more ‘me’ time and time for the things that relax me.

2) Heathy Eating. I can’t be buying sausage and cheddar sandwiches and drinking grande mochas while eating apple fritters! I’ve also been unfocussed enough during the work day that I’m not snacking like my regular schedule once allowed. Usually, when I’m good, I’m snacking every 2 hours or so- a banana, almonds, yogurt with bran, an apple, carrots or celery with peanut butter. I haven’t been good to myself this way :(, but I need to get back on track. Granted, I’ve still been cooking here and there, so that hasn’t been too bad, but I really need to step up my game in this whole category.

3) Fitness. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this lethargic. I’m yearning to get back onto a regular fitness schedule, since I find that a schedule is what I need. Granted, I’ve been travelling a lot in the last many months, which makes it difficult to stick to a fitness schedule, but really, that’s one big excuse. You can run anywhere you go, and thanks to fitness programs like Insanity, it’s very possible to do a full cardio workout in the comforts of your hotel room. I’ve realized that my mood is completely different when I’m on a regular fitness schedule. This translates to a much more productive work day, followed by very active and fulfilling evenings. When I think about taking care of my body, I think about rest and eating healthy, yes. But I also think about continuing to push myself to my limits (and beyond) while I’m still fortunate and able to do. It’s time to make this a priority once again.

4) The Outdoors. Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean that enjoying the outdoors comes to a halt! It’s come to my attention that I have friends who are hiking regularly during the winter. Say what?? Why I gave up hiking because it got cold is beyond me. I did manage to finally go skiing in the Rockies (Sunshine Village) a couple of weeks ago. Yes, experiencing this was long overdue. And the verdict? It was amazing. Great company :D, lots of time for skiing, and so much fun. I also went on a winter hike- Tunnel Mountain in Banff. The fact that it’s cold is no excuse.

So in the end, this blog posting is pretty much an ugh-pity-party for myself to help me get back on track. Actually, it’s less of a pity party, and more of a way to refocus my thoughts when it comes to keeping myself healthy, sane and fit. I’ve been more irritable, lazy and whiny lately, and I dislike being that way. I realize I love staying busy with all of these fitness goals, so it’s time to reclaim the ‘just gotta do it’ attitude that I know and love, and add some self-accountability. It does help that there’s some mad adventuring happening one week from today, when stitch-faced-Dan visits for shenanigans of the ice climbing and bobsledding variety! Also, with only 2.5 months until my first half-marathon of the year, I really can’t afford to fall off the wagon again. I definitely need P90X back in my life to remind me to BRING IT! Restarting that is mos’ def’ on the agenda.