This Christmas, my brother bought me a very important book. So much so, I feel compelled to share. For those who know me, you know that I hate public bathrooms. Even more, I dislike most people who use public bathrooms. The bathrooms, and in most cases, the people, are just gross. I can’t help but think how these people live in their own homes, because if a public bathroom is any indication, most homes would be disgusting urinary and fecal messes. Alas, I digress.
The workplace is an interesting environment. Work politics are always interesting. More interesting than that? The common workplace bathroom. In general, I prefer to use the single person bathroom in order to increase my chances of avoiding interaction with co-workers during these sacred times. Don’t get me wrong- the single person bathroom has its own fair share of concerns, including that heart-jumping feeling when someone tries to open the locked door instead of knocking, or that incredibly awkward moment when you leave the bathroom at the time someone is about to walk in, and your identity has been acknowledged.
Sometimes, the use of the public workplace bathroom is inevitable. And that’s where this book comes in: How to Poo at Work, by Mats and Enzo. The back cover reads: “Don’t let number 2 stop you from being number 1 on the job”. Now that’s some well-written stuff! I can only assume that this is what they should be teaching in school. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to learning a thing or two from this book, especially on how to deal with potentially awkward situations, like if the toilet gets clogged (OMG!). I’m also hoping it will legitimize many things that I already believe, such as not talking on your cell phone while standing at the urinal. This is a huge no-no in my eyes.
Speaking of eyes, I took a quick glance through the book and came across “The Golden Rules”. According to the book, the “bathrooms at the workplace are governed by six clear rules”:
- Never make eye contact with another person in the bathroom.
- Never start a conversation with another person in the bathroom.
- Create maximum distance between you and other persons present in the bathroom.
- Never express what you feel inside.
- Stay impassive, no matter what may have happened in the bathroom.
- Never make excuses to minimize attention to an event.
I fully expect this book to elaborate on these important points. But I’d like to express that I fully agree with number 3. When there’s a row of 5 empty stalls, and I decide to choose the first one, then why is it always the case that someone, without fail, chooses the second one!? Argh!!
I’m anticipating that How to Poo at Work will be quite a funny read. I support this kind of toilet humour.
Christmas comes once a year… and for me, the holiday season flies by as quickly as it arrives. It’s definitely been a great few days with lots of catching up, video game battles, and lots of eats that go against my general dietary intake of the day-to-day. I don’t think I’ve had a legitimate serving of vegetables since I’ve arrived!
After almost 4 years, I finally went to see the Zoolights at the Calgary Zoo. In fact, after almost 4 years, it was my first time to the Calgary Zoo period. Isn’t that crazy? The lights were pretty. Very very pretty. And what better way to spend an evening than to walk around with some hot chocolate and admire pretty lights. Ooooh.
HIKES & HAMSTRINGS 