Almost 4 years ago, I packed up my Toyota Corolla and drove from Milton to Calgary with my mum and brother. I remember arriving in Calgary after four days thinking, ‘I will never do that drive again.” As amazing as the Canadian landscape is (especially Northern Ontario), it’s a long drive!
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I was having lunch at the hospital with Paul and he says to me, “Want to drive to Ottawa with me and Charlie?” Charlie is his dog. You see, Paul decided to go east to complete a post-doctoral fellowship in Ottawa, which means he and his family were leaving for the next little while. What an exciting opportunity for them!
“Sure! Why not- it’ll be fun :)”
And that was that… ROADTRIP!
Yes, I have had quite a bit of time off lately, but in truth, I knew it would be a fun experience and I was happy to help out. Inevitably, there would be tons of laughter, and it would be great quality time spent. And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to be graced with my company for 5 consecutive days? 😉
So at 10:30 am on Saturday, Paul, Charlie and I were off. Of course, no road trip is complete without a Tim’s stop for timbits, and that’s exactly what we did. Then it was time to hit the TransCanada highway, eastbound. Two rules were established at the beginning: 1) silence was okay and didn’t need to be filled with talking at all times, and 2) farting in the car was to be followed immediately by opened windows. This pretty much set the stage for the epic roadtrip of 2013.
The drive began with much excitement and chatting; Charlie was trying to figure out what was going on, and energy levels were up. By the end of the trip, we were exhausted; Charlie stretched himself lazily over a pillow; and we were all eager to reach Ottawa. Overnight stops along the way included Regina, Dryden, Wawa, North Bay, and then Ottawa, and the journey ended up being about 3630 km.
There were monument stops as well: the largest teepee in Medicine Hat, Husky the Muskie in Kenora, the Terry Fox monument in Thunder Bay, a massive Canadian goose in Wawa, and the Big Nickel in Sudbury. And the trip had no shortage of wildlife- many deer, both alive and dead; moose; a weasel/mink/ferret; and a dead beaver.
I can’t even begin to write down everything, but lots of memories were made. To preserve for posterity, I offer the following list of inside jokes so that Paul and I don’t forget them. If there’s one thing between Paul and I (and Sony, of course), it’s that jokes never ever die.
- You have pet? No.(Vietnamese accent)
- Kid in background playing World of Warcraft
- Driving J*w. You got driving j*wed.
- Ratemyselfie.com
- Paul attempts to murder me in my sleep
- Floating deer head
- Mill trolls of Dryden
- Rebounding box of wipes: “Get that sh** out of my face!” (Slaps wipes away)
- Typical Ron and his suggestion to drive through Winnipeg. Go through Winnipeg, he said. It’ll be faster, he said.
- Walking Charlie in the petroleum fields
- Free bread at East side Mario’s
- Rick awakens. “So I was right?” (about the greenery of Northern Ontario)
- Dr. Rick Chinstein
- “What are you waiting for?” (from I Know What You Did Last Summer)
- Charlie’s Wang Hair
- “Why the hell is there a dancing weasel on the highway?”
- “The ebb and flow of nutrition: We should wash our water down with a chubby chicken.”
- Rick tells Paul bible story. Paul over-interprets – “Joseph got c**k-blocked by God.” Rick is offended.
- That girl had crazy makeup. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she goes to clown college. She could have been so pretty.
- Rick continually sings “I Will Wait” by Mumford and Sons. Rick is Mumford. Paul and Charlie are the sons.
- Flash headlights to warn car about cops. Car is a cop. Helping fail.
- Chuckles Mcgee. Chuckles O’Flannigan. etc…
- Totes so cash.
Jokes aside, Paul is a rockstar, and I have no doubt that he will do extremely well out in Ottawa. All the best, my friend. Soak up all the knowledge you can and come back an even stronger researcher. You’ve got this!
HIKES & HAMSTRINGS 