So I’m not going to lie: When I get all thinky and stuff, I go to the self-help section at Chapters. I also go to the travel section, but this post isn’t about that. I thoroughly enjoy reading the backs of self-help books, or taking a glance at the contents. Specifically, I enjoy books about positivity, happiness, and achieving goals. Fluffy? Maybe. But I think that the constant bettering of oneself is quite important. Career aspirations and reaching your potential with work are key, but so is being the best you can be, personally. What kind of person do I want to be? Clearly I want to be 100% pure grade-A awesome, and even though I’ve already achieved this, there’s always room for improvement. This takes some thought, as well as action. So I like to work on this aspect of my life too, and self-help books help (which is why they’re called self-help!). During a recent conversation with a friend, she asked: what would you say if you were asked “So, what are you up to?”? I’m sure things like the craziness of work and the stress of school or the planning of a weekend come to mind. But thought of another way: what are you about? what is your purpose right now? What are you doing to go beyond who you are in order to embody the person you want to become? I know, deep right? I should probably read an Eckhart Tolle book, but I haven’t gotten around to it, so back off!
Well, these are a few of the things that have occupied my confused mind since returning from my most recent trip, and unfortunately, these thoughts are sort of in conflict with my 2011 resolution. But hey, sometimes we just think about what we want to do and who we want to be when we grow up, and this is one of those times :S. The truth is, I don’t know the answer to the question “What are you up to?”. She also asked me to create a personal context for myself in 3 words. For example, what kind of person do I want to be at work? Once I come up with 3 words that form a context that I can personify, then others will see me this way as well. The truth is, I don’t know my personal context. I really need to think about these things…! In any case, I love chatting with people about topics like this. Books are great too.
I’ve made attempts to read some self-help books in their entirety. “Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting: The Astonishing Power of Feelings” by Lynn Grabhorn is a popular book on The Law of Attraction. Basically, my interpretation is that if you send positive thoughts and energy out into the universe, then by the law of attraction, awesomeness will come back to you. I truly believe this, but even though this book has had a great effect on many people, it didn’t for me, I found it a bit fluffy, and I was never able to finish it. (Note: I don’t know a better word than fluffy at the moment, but you know… Fluffy.) Maybe it’s because it’s called “The Astonishing Power of Feelings”, and people who know me know that I can be a cold-hearted Leo who doesn’t feel feelings anymore. But also I found it a lot of book to say what I just wrote: positivity = awesomeness in return. Ever realize how much energy it takes to be negative? I have, because when I get into the depths of despair, I look in the mirror, slap myself in the face and say “What’s wrong with you?”! That slap takes a lot of energy! Instead, if you cast that positivity line into the sea of life, you’ll get a huge fish of awesomeness in return. And not just one fish on that hook. You’ll get, like, lots of fish.
One book that I managed to complete is “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin (… it was recommended by my friend Marie, and it’s half of #15 on my 30 before 30 list). If you go to the self-help section, there seems to be many books on this topic- what makes us happy? why do certain things make us happy? what does it mean to be happy? Although I found it difficult to relate to the author at times, it has some great lessons on finding happiness in the day to day. “Travelling the world forever” may make me happy, but it’s not really the reality of my current situation. So what are some things that I can do in my community, in my current situation, that can make me a little more happy? Should I feel guilty about thinking about my happiness when I’m so fortunate and I have so many opportunities available to me? I plan to revisit this book in another post, but one of the big messages I took away from this book is to “Be Rick”. OMG, could that sound cornier? Yes, I’m sure it could, but in this case, all it means is that I need to be true to who I am in my pursuit of being a happier person. And I know we all just want to “Be Rick”, but I’m sorry, you each have your own path to follow.
My last book plug for now was recommended to me by my friend Sony, and it’s called “The Comfort Trap: or, What If You’re Riding a Dead Horse?” by Judith Sills. I’m only about half-way through it, but so far it’s fantastic. This is what’s written on the back of the book:
“Your comfort trap is the familiar, tolerable, but unsatisfying situation you’ve created in your life. It’s the job, the relationship, the bad habit, the friendship that won’t end unless you end it though it drags down your spirit. Clinical psychologist and bestselling author Judith Sills shows you how to propel yourself to change in seven life-changing steps. Sometimes life’s tide does move us forward. This is a book for the times when it doesn’t.”
I love this synopsis for two main reasons. 1) Judith Sills, PhD has a very clear, non-fluffy writing style that allows me to read her book without rolling my eyes at the fluffiness of it all, and 2) The Comfort Trap focuses on the situations that you’ve created in your life, which means you can change it if you want it to change. Sometimes you just need to know when you should raise your hands in the air, proclaim “I’m just done with it!” all dramatically and with a grandiose gesture, and get off that dead horse. I’m sure I’ll be writing more on this book and the words of wisdom I get from it, because you know, I’m all about words of wisdom and encouraging stuff like that and stuff…
And with that eloquent conclusion, I say we all need to be as awesome as we know we can be and take control of our own situations. This requires thought and action while being happy in the moment. There’s a reason why in the mornings when I look at myself in the mirror, I give myself the wink and the gun and say: “Hey! Yeah you!… you’re alright” :). Action = AWESOME!
HIKES & HAMSTRINGS 